Anthony Bourdain’s fleeting flirtation with Iranian Food.
Bourdain finally took us to Iran. In my opinion, he barely scratched the surface of Iranian cuisine.
Two years ago Anthony Bourdain CNN’s Travel/Foodie-show host of “Parts Unknown”, passed away in a hotel room in France.
It has taken me this long to recover from how upset I was/am that Bourdain died, because he was my favorite, and the world lost a great traveller, and food as culture, aficionado.
It was on CNN’s “Parts Unknown”, where Bourdain finally took us to Iran. In my opinion, that show barely scratched the surface of Iranian cuisine. It seemed though that the politics got in the way of what I had hoped would be a full exposure to Iranian food.
So I decided to finish Anthony’s episode.
Here are just some of the foods that Bourdain missed showing us:
Caviar.
Hands down, even now under the restrictive Islamic Republic in which eating fish eggs are considered forbidden or Haram (not Kosher/Halal), Iran still manages to produce some of the BEST caviar in the world. Caviar is known throughout the world as the most luxurious food. By far the best way to eat caviar is by the spoonful (if you can afford it). But on pieces of toast with lime is usually the way it is served.
Pastries and Sweets.
Iranians have possibly the biggest sweet tooth in the world. Iranian pastries are nothing short of ingenious.
Toffee-like almond chip brittle called Sohan.
A positively narcotic taffy/nougat either plain, or with pistachios or walnuts or almonds called Gaz, that is simply too good.
Insanely addictive candied almonds.
Saffron Ice cream. The aphrodisiac of aphrodisiacs.
An insanity that is Faloodeh, frozen rice noodles in rosewater flavored sherbet with lemon juice.
Over 10 different types of snacking raisins.
Over 20 types of seasoned watermelon, pumpkin, cantaloupe, and yes, sunflower seeds.
Dried fruits and nuts.
Fruit leather of sour cherries, plums, apricots, peaches, and berries whose names do not exist in the English language, no matter, you’ve never heard of them. More for me. The Farsi word for Fruit Leather: Lavashak (…Baby Lavashak!)
Over 8 different varieties of commercial dates.
For example there are dates that go “crunch”!
30 varieties of table grapes. Grapes you have never seen before. Grapes that taste exactly like drops of honey. Grapes that are multicolored on the same stalk.
The original grape genus of Chardonnay (Chahar-Daneh trans; “four-seeds”), and of course, Shiraz. The story goes that a French knight who was a winemaker by trade, became lost in the Shiraz region of Iran during the crusades. The knight was so taken with the grape he saw there, that he took a cutting all the way back to France, and that is where Chiraz/Shiraz wine comes from. The Australian Shiraz wine also comes from a cutting that an Australian trader brought to Australia after visiting Shiraz. Sadly under the Islamic Republic and the strict Islamic ban on alcohol, growing grapes for wine in Iran is strictly forbidden.
Apples that are specifically bred to taste like pears.
Lemons that are specifically bred to taste sweet, not sour.
White Pomegranate is a rare variety of the traditional red version that is now being marketed for healthy juice in the US, and can be easily found growing everywhere in the US during the Fall. But the white version grown in Iran is much less tart and not sour. The seeds are translucent and look like pearls.
Food Dishes
During his visit, Bourdain had rice and kabab. He also went to some private homes and they fed him some of the staple dishes. Which are mainly ultra delicious aromatic casseroles and stews served over fluffy rice topped with a sprinkling of saffron-infused rice. And most important, not all cooked rice in Iran is white.
Take Tahcheen for example.
Tahcheen is a chicken layered rice loaf, in which a batter of partially cooked rice, egg yolks, yoghurt, chicken, and saffron is baked until the outer crust of turns a honey golden orange brown.
Ghormeh (Gourmet?) Sabzi. Over 16 different herbs in a hearty beef stew/casserole.
Gheymeh Bademjan. Another casserole of delicate beef stewed in yellow split peas and eggplant. And Yes. Those are fries.
Adas polo. Lentils and raisins or dates cooked in rice with chicken or beef. Some of our sneakier Aunts add a sneaky dash of Cinnamon!
Estamboli or Loobia polo. Polo is the farsi word for fluffy rice. Tomato paste infused rice with potatoes, green beans and beef. Some of our sneakiest Aunts add more sneaky dashes of Cinnamon!
Albaloo Polo. Sweet sour-cherry jam infused, to make it into a bright pink rice, with chicken. This one visually alone, will knock anyone’s socks right off. Sweet sour salty. With a simple boiled chicken. Heaven.
Baghali polo. Lima (or ideally Fava) bean and dill cooked in rice turning it a lightish green, served with a fatty juicy boiled lamb shank, or boiled chicken, or if you are lucky, chicken cooked in onions in a positively sinful tomato sauce.
Sabzi Polo-Mahi. A similar green dill infused rice served with a grilled smoked white fish (Yes! We call it Mahi too!). Ironically the same “smoked whitefish” also known as Gefilte.
Kookoo Sabzi. Think of a spinach and onion quiche without pie crust. Crazy right?
Kotlet. If it sounds like cutlet it is meant to. But this is a potato burger served as a thin scrumptious patty. Go ahead, have another. And another. And another…
Kashk-e-Bademjan. Americans have (Finally!) learned to break flatbread and dip. This is the epitome of something to dip bread into. Sautéed onions, garlic, mint, eggplant, drizzled with a condensed yoghurt based “Kashk”. Very similar to Baba Ganoush but a bit more hearty and usually served warm.
Tah-Deeg. Carefully and creatively overcooking rice that sits at the bottom of the pot, to a crunchy crispy golden state. Cooking this is an art. If you find a cook who can make this, marry her. Or him!
Bread.
Sangak. Sangak is a good all around hearty whole wheat bread.
But Sangak is no Barbari. I lived on Barbari. I know Barbari. Barbari is my friend. And Senator Sangak, you are no Barbari! Upscale pizza parlors in the US now serve a close variation of this as fresh baked bread sticks or flatbread. Fluffy on the inside and crispy on the outside.
Lavash. If you have ever gone to a Whole Foods, you should by now know what Lavash is. It is usually found in the Indian or Middle Eastern food section. Thinner than a tortilla. And not round, but rectangular, usually about 2 tortillas wide by 4 tortillas long. Wheat flour.
Taftoon. Think pizza in Italy with those adorable burnt bubbles, but with no sauce or cheese or toppings. You can add anything you want to it. Taftoon is especially good to wrap around a Kotlet (see above). Or dip into Kashk-e-Bademjan (see above), or my favorite, the yolk of a soft boiled egg at breakfast.
Kababs.
There are 3 primary Kababs, one Chicken and two Beef. Ground beef (Koobideh). Thinly sliced flat filet (Barg). Marinated young chicken (Joojeh). Boring in description. But the Iranian version of Tri-tip, Burger, and Roast Chicken. Simple. Grab a piece with your favorite bread.
And then there are the pickles, yogurts, salads…
…OK, I am going to simply have to stop here. Because you are like me, likely very hungry now, and we are at merely the halfway point of the dizzyingly delicious discussion of Iranian food.
As you can hopefully see now, Bourdain’s show on Iran did not scratch the barest surface of Iranian food. This is why I was so sad when he passed. I so wanted him to show you the rest of Iranian cuisine!
Given the real jeopardy of visiting Iran these days, and the intensity of the political animosity between the two countries, whose people ironically love each other whenever they are given the slightest chance, Bourdain was simply unable to show you the full Iran. As you can now hopefully see, a far yummier place than was depicted in the episode. Than is usually depicted.
Bourdain’s globe trotting, honest and profound questions, inspiring visible humanism, unfortunately left this plain with his Iranian meal unfinished.
I would like to think that if there is indeed an afterlife, that there is an Iranian mother-in-law, and she is now force-feeding Anthony delicious Iranian dish upon dish, upon dish, upon dish,…